Local man lost his limbs in the eningra
Citizens of the lower wards were disturbed Tuesday when a local blacksmith simply ceased to be a person, transitioning seamlessly into the abstract concept of "dread." Witnesses report he was complaining about the weather before his physical form unraveled into a vague sense of impending doom.
Authorities advise avoiding the town square until the concept dissipates or finds a new host.
Rain rescheduled to late November
Due to unforeseen temporal anomalies, the plague of amphibians originally slated for Thursday has been pushed to next Monday. Residents are advised to carry sturdy umbrellas and keep their mouths closed while looking up.
Fig 1. The suspect, spotted fleeing the scene of the paradox.
Wanted for crimes against time
If you see the entity pictured above, do not approach. It has already stolen your tomorrow. Please report sightings to the nearest grandfather clock.